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    Blog 6 min read

    How to Say Something Interesting Before Someone Reaches for Their Phone

    Last updated: Tuesday 17th March 2026

    Quick Summary

    This blog is all about keeping conversations engaging so people don't tune out or scroll on their phones. It suggests that having genuinely interesting things to share is more effective than fancy talking tricks. A quick win is to drop a surprising fact, like the fact that bananas are technically berries, but strawberries are not.

    In a hurry? TL;DR

    • 1Stock your mind with surprising facts or unusual words to spark curiosity and initiate conversations.
    • 2Use facts as conversation openers, focusing on the follow-up questions they generate, not just the reveal.
    • 3Introduce words like 'numinous' that articulate feelings people recognize but can't previously express.
    • 4Giving people a word for a shared experience creates recognition and a bonding moment.
    • 5Prioritize having interesting content to share over solely focusing on conversational mechanics like eye contact.
    • 6Preparation and a wealth of interesting material, like Churchill's, are key to captivating conversations.

    Why It Matters

    Discovering that bananas are technically berries, unlike strawberries, is a surprisingly simple way to spark genuine curiosity and keep people engaged in conversation.

    The Real Problem With Conversation

    Most advice about being interesting in conversation focuses on mechanics: maintain eye contact, ask open-ended questions, practise active listening, mirror body language. This advice isn't wrong; it's just incomplete.

    The real reason most conversations stall is simpler. People have nothing interesting to say.

    Not because they are uninteresting people – but because they haven't stocked their minds with the kind of material that makes someone pause, lean in, and ask a follow-up question. Technique without content is just attentive silence.

    The Power of a Single Surprising Fact

    Consider this: bananas are botanically classified as berries, but strawberries are not.

    That sentence requires no grand setup. You can drop it at a dinner party, in a work kitchen, or while waiting for a train, and it reliably produces the same reaction: a pause, a frown, then a question.

    The question is the point. The fact isn't the conversation; it's the key that starts one.

    This works because it violates a deeply held assumption. Everyone thinks they know what a berry is. Almost nobody does. The moment you discover your mental category is wrong, you naturally wonder what else you've misfiled.

    That burst of curiosity is the engine of good conversation.

    Why Unusual Words Work

    There's a particular kind of word that earns attention because it names something people feel but cannot articulate. Numinous is one of them.

    Coined by the German theologian Rudolf Otto in 1917, numinous describes the feeling of being in the presence of something vast, mysterious, and not entirely explicable. It isn't 'beautiful' or 'sublime'; it's the specific sensation of encountering something that exceeds your capacity to understand – standing at the edge of a canyon, gazing into a genuinely dark night sky, or hearing a piece of music that seems to know something you don't.

    Most people have felt it, yet almost nobody has a word for it. When you give them one, something clicks.

    “A word like numinous doesn't just describe a feeling. It gives someone permission to take that feeling seriously.”

    This is the conversational value of an unusual word: it creates recognition. The person you're speaking to realises they've had the experience but never the language. That moment of shared understanding is inherently bonding.

    Churchill as a Case Study in Conversational Presence

    Winston Churchill wasn't naturally charming. He was often rude, frequently overbearing, and notoriously difficult at dinner parties. Yet he was, by almost every account, impossible to ignore.

    His technique wasn't warmth; it was preparation. Churchill read voraciously, memorised striking phrases, and rehearsed his apparently spontaneous remarks. When he declared, "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts," he wasn't being naturally eloquent. He was deploying material he had already refined.

    The lesson isn't that you need to be Churchill. It's that the appearance of effortless conversation usually rests on invisible preparation. The people who seem naturally interesting have almost always done the reading first.

    The 46 Percent Problem

    Here's another fact that reliably opens a conversation: only 46 percent of the world's cultures practise romantic kissing.

    The assumption that kissing is universal, natural, and instinctive turns out to be wrong. According to research published in American Anthropologist, more than half the world's cultures don't engage in romantic mouth-to-mouth contact at all. In many societies, it's considered unhygienic, confusing, or simply pointless.

    This fact works in conversation because it challenges something deeply personal: the feeling that your own romantic behaviour is natural rather than learned. The moment someone hears this, they begin to wonder what else they've assumed is universal but is actually cultural. That wondering is fertile conversational ground.

    How to Deploy Material Without Sounding Like a Lecturer

    The difference between being interesting and being insufferable is delivery. Three principles help.

    First, never announce that you're about to share a fact. Don't say "here's a fun fact" or "did you know." Just say it, naturally, as though it occurred to you.

    Second, match the material to the moment. A fact about kissing works at a relaxed dinner party. A word like numinous works during a quieter discussion about experience or travel. Timing isn't optional.

    Third, and most importantly, follow the fact with a question rather than more facts. "Bananas are berries — what do you think actually qualifies as a berry?" creates a conversation. "Bananas are berries, and also cucumbers are berries, and also pumpkins" creates a lecture.

    As covered in a recent piece on conversation starters, the goal isn't to display knowledge but to create a shared space where both people become curious. The fact is the spark. The conversation is the fire.

    Building a Better Repertoire

    Interesting conversation is a renewable resource. It improves every time you read something surprising, learn a word that names an unnamed feeling, or discover that something you assumed was universal turns out to be cultural.

    The habit is simple: notice what makes you pause, and store it. A single surprising fact per week – properly understood, not just memorised – gives you fifty-two compelling conversation starters per year, far better than "so, what do you do?"

    The phone in their pocket is competing with the entire internet. You don't need to beat the internet. You just need to be more interesting than the default alternative, which is small talk about weather and weekends.

    That bar is lower than you think.

    Frequently Asked Questions

    Most conversations stall not because of poor technique, but because people lack interesting material to share. They haven't 'stocked their minds' with surprising facts or evocative words.

    A surprising fact, like 'bananas are berries but strawberries aren't,' can break assumptions and spark curiosity. This curiosity leads to follow-up questions, which are the true start of a good conversation.

    Numinous describes the feeling of encountering something vast, mysterious, and beyond comprehension. Using this word can give others language for an experience they've had but couldn't articulate, creating a moment of shared recognition and connection.

    No, Winston Churchill wasn't naturally charming. He was known for being difficult, but fascinating, because he meticulously prepared his remarks, memorized striking phrases, and rehearsed what appeared to be spontaneous comments.

    Sources & References