Skip to content
    Stepping stones of discouragement and failure leading to success.

    "Develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success."

    Dale Carnegie
    Dale Carnegie
    Last updated: Thursday 17th April 2025

    In a hurry? TL;DR

    • 1View failures as diagnostic data, not final judgments, to inform your next steps.
    • 2Recognize discouragement as a signal of effort, prompting perseverance rather than quitting.
    • 3Build resilience by embracing challenges and reframing setbacks as opportunities for growth.
    • 4Utilize failures for calibration; true success often emerges from learning what doesn't work.
    • 5Apply the 'fail fast' iterative approach, using early flaws to create superior outcomes.
    • 6Emotionally reframe discouragement as a sign of learning and progress, not personal inadequacy.

    Why It Matters

    This idea is useful because it reframes setbacks not as dead ends, but as essential building blocks for achieving success.

    Dale Carnegie’s famous maxim argues that the path to achievement is paved with the very setbacks most people try to avoid. It suggests that failure is not a dead end, but a source of raw data and mental grit necessary for final victory.

    • Failure serves as a diagnostic tool rather than a final verdict.
    • Discouragement is a physiological signal of effort, not an indicator to stop.
    • Resilience is a skill built over time through exposure to difficulty.
    • True success requires the calibration that only comes from getting things wrong.

    Why It Matters

    This quote shifts the perspective on failure from a source of shame to a competitive advantage, turning emotional distress into an engine for progress.

    The Architecture of Resilience

    Carnegie wrote this at a time when America was transitioning from a hard-scrabble agrarian society to a complex industrial one. Success was no longer just about manual labour; it was about psychological endurance. Unlike Victorian-era platitudes that praised blind persistence, Carnegie’s insight focused on the transformative nature of the struggle itself.

    The brilliance of this observation lies in the grouping of failure with discouragement. While failure is an external event, discouragement is the internal reaction. Carnegie identifies that the two work in tandem as stepping stones. If you can withstand the emotional weight of discouragement, the technical lesson of the failure becomes usable.

    A prime historical example is the development of the lightbulb by Thomas Edison, a contemporary of the Carnegie era. When asked about his 1,000 unsuccessful attempts, Edison famously noted he had simply found 1,000 ways not to build a lightbulb. This is the Carnegie philosophy in practice: treating every error as a refinement of the final product.

    Practical Applications

    • The Iterative Approach: In software development, this is known as failing fast. You release a prototype, watch it break, and use the bugs to build a superior version.
    • Emotional Reframing: When feeling discouraged, label the emotion as a symptom of growth rather than a sign of inadequacy.
    • Post-Mortem Analysis: After a setback, list three specific pieces of information you now possess that you didn't have before the failure occurred.

    What is the difference between a failure and a mistake?

    A mistake is a single incorrect action, whereas failure is often the result of several mistakes or an overarching strategy that did not work. According to researchers at Harvard Business School, the most productive failures are those where you learn a new lesson, rather than repeating an old error.

    Does this mean we should seek out failure?

    Not exactly. The goal is not to fail intentionally, but to take enough risks that failure becomes an inevitable byproduct. The focus is on the recovery and the intel gathered during the process, rather than the act of failing itself.

    Why is discouragement considered a stepping stone?

    Discouragement acts as a filter. It tests your commitment to a goal. While others quit when they feel the emotional weight of a setback, those who treat it as a stepping stone use that resistance to build psychological stamina.

    Key Takeaways

    • Use setbacks as a curriculum for future attempts.
    • Distinguish between the external event (failure) and your internal response (discouragement).
    • Success is a result of refined attempts, not a strike of luck.
    • View resilience as a muscle that requires the resistance of failure to grow.

    Internal Links:

    Historical Context

    This quote comes from Dale Carnegie, a renowned American writer and lecturer known for his pioneering work in self-improvement, salesmanship, corporate training, public speaking, and interpersonal skills. His most famous work, 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' (1936), offered practical advice on achieving success through better communication and understanding of human nature. This quote encapsulates a core theme in his philosophy: the transformative power of a positive mindset and resilience in the face of adversity, deeply rooted in the pragmatic, self-help culture of early 20th-century America as it navigated rapid industrialisation and the subsequent Great Depression.

    Meaning & Interpretation

    Carnegie suggests that setbacks and the emotional toll they take are not obstacles to be avoided, but essential components on the path to achievement. He argues that by learning from mistakes and enduring discouragement, individuals gain invaluable experience and strength. Essentially, rather than being the antithesis of success, failure and its associated emotional challenges act as vital lessons and character builders, propelling one closer to their objectives. They provide critical data for refinement and forge the necessary mental fortitude to persevere.

    When to Use This Quote

    This quote is incredibly relevant when discussing personal development, entrepreneurial journeys, or any long-term project fraught with challenges. It's particularly useful when encouraging someone who has recently experienced a significant setback or is feeling overwhelmed by obstacles. You could use it in a motivational speech, a team meeting after a project fails to meet expectations, or in a coaching session to reframe an individual's perspective on their struggles. It helps shift the focus from dwelling on what went wrong to extracting valuable lessons and building resilience for future endeavours.

    Frequently Asked Questions

    Dale Carnegie famously viewed failure not as a dead end, but as a crucial stepping stone to success. He believed that discouragement and failure provide the necessary data and mental fortitude for eventual achievement.

    Carnegie saw failure and discouragement as working together. Failure is the external event, and discouragement is the internal reaction. By withstanding discouragement, the lessons learned from failure become valuable.

    By reframing failure from a source of shame to a learning opportunity, it can become a competitive advantage. The insights gained from setbacks can be used to refine strategies and build resilience, ultimately leading to greater success.

    The iterative approach, common in fields like software development, involves 'failing fast.' This means releasing prototypes, observing where they break, and using those bugs and issues to build improved versions, treating each failure as a refinement step.

    A mistake is typically a single incorrect action, while failure often results from multiple mistakes or a strategy that didn't work overall. The most productive failures are those where a new lesson is learned, not when an old error is repeated.

    Sources & References